Dear baby who never sleeps, I would write you a poem but I am just too tired to get my brain going. Each day is a struggle to get you to sleep. Last Friday, out of despair, mommy went out and bought you a very very expensive stroller just so you would nap in the afternoon. You know one of those stroller with a memory foam as a seat. Comfy! Mommy, spent countless hours on the internet trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Yes, because I have come to believe that it is not you... but me the problem. Mommy refuses to just let you cry yourself to sleep. I would hate to cry myself to sleep! I did it as a teenager when my dad passed away, I did it again after loosing your unknown sibling. I do not wish it to anyone. I will NOT let you cry yourself to sleep. No one deserve to fall asleep that way! What kind of sweet dreams would you have?
So there is where we stood. You wanting to play and eat all night, and me wanting to sleep. You know, just a little. Just so I would get enough sleep to get my brain working to get my school work done. Remember my dear little Tuna... mommy is TRYING to get her PHD. Not that it matters to you... but really... it matters to mommy.
So does this mean that I failed? I just can't believe I'm alone. There has to be other babies out there who just won't sleep... You? Do you really get a full night of sleep?
So 6 days ago, I tried something that was completely against my idea of parenting... I said "Screw your schedule"... Yes that same schedule I have been insisting on for the past 12 months. I said... here you go darling. Here is a book, here is a stuff animal, and here is your glowbug night light... mommy is going to bed. And so I did. I left my daughter on the bedroom floor with full access to her bed and went to sleep. (Mind you we share a room so I was but an arm length away from her). She played from 7 pm to 10h30 pm... she fussed a little and then on her own, like a big girl, she went to bed. Just like that. As if she had always done it! Even better, she only woke up once over night!
So the next day we tried again... by 9pm she was fast asleep... no crying... woke up 3 times only...
Since then, we have kept on going. I set her up between 7-7h30 and by 8-8h30 she is asleep. I do get a little whining but no hysterical crying.
Sunday I was really worried because of the time change, but to my greatest surprise, she just went with the flow and was seemingly completely non-affected by the change... she even slept that extra hour (this morning too).
So somehow, for the first time in months, I feel like there is hope... I feel like things are improving. And even better, Hudson has a smile on her face as she falls asleep, and I have a smile on my face as I wake up rested in the morning... if all goes well, I will start limiting her night time feeding in the next few weeks... And with a little bit of luck and a whole lot of hard work, this child might actually sleep through the night by the time she is 2 years old! Who knows! 50 weeks to go!