Thursday, October 24, 2013

So much to celebrate so much to be thankful for

Happy birthday Hudson!!!

Well it's been 2 years! Hudson has been sleeping through the night for 4 weeks now! Actually 2 days before Phenix was born she started sleeping... We didn't do anything different... we didn't change anything... we used no gimmicks... she just did. Like that... suddenly one night... and then the following night... and then again... and again... A miracle. Hudson is now 2 years old, she's a big girl and takes really good care of her little brother. I can already tell, these two are lucky to have each other. 

Phenix is 1 month old!

Phenix is 1 month old. Phenix is not at all like his sister. Sometimes Phenix sleeps through the night... yes... already... Phenix is patient... even when he is hungry. Phenix likes company but he also likes to spend time on his own. Phenix has a big sister that loves him really much. A big sister that spends her entire day looking out for him... making sure he is well fed, has a clean bum and that he is well entertained!

Today, I have been breastfeeding for 2 years! 
It's my turn to be celebrated. Today I have been breastfeeding for 2 years. I am so proud! I could scream it on all the roof. But it has not been easy. Breastfeeding is NOT always easy. I fought low supply, illness, complete lost of supply, oversea travel, severely cracked nipples, lost of supply due to pregnancy, nursing aversion, nursing strike... you name it! But we carried on... we did... and then we added Phenix to the mix...

I have been successfully tandem nursing for 1 month! 

Now I am nursing TWO! I was so scared at first... but it has been so easy... really... well... not from the start thought... Phenix did not have a good latch and had to be cup fed for the first 4 days... but we carried on... Phenix had to go to breastfeeding school every other day... a one hour drive away... but we carried on... and then one day, he figured it out! He graduated from breastfeeding school with honor and is now on his way to become a chubby monkey. During that time, his big sister was very happy to fed on demand to stimulate supply... and let me tell you, she did an AMAZING job... except for the part where  I now have some serious over supply issues.... ;-) But in the end both are happy, both enjoying sharing and that is enough to me make feel like the luckiest mother on earth! And if you are wondering when they will wean.... well I don't know... and frankly I don't care... they can wean whenever they want... 

And one last thing before I go... 

A pet peeve of mine... yes... I am sorry to end this post on such a negative note... but I would really much want to take this out of my chest... Since the birth of Phenix, I have been hearing this sentence a lot "How lucky, a boy and a girl... now your family is complete"... I know people mean well when they say it... but in all honesty, it irks me... I hate the fact that it implies that unless you have one of each, you have not succeeded! I am very happy to have both a boy and a girl, but I would have been as happy to have 2 girls or 2 boys! Not to mention, that we never planed on having only 2 kids... so I hate how people assume that we can just stop having kids because we have one of each... I can already here it... "you are pregnant again... was it an accident..." so here it is! I am saying it : NO our family is NOT complete! It probably won't be for a while... and NO the size of my family does not depend on the gender of my children! 


Friday, October 4, 2013

My little Tuna is now a BIG sister!

On September 24th, Tuna turned 23 months old! On that day, she also became a BIG Sister! I never expected things would happen this quickly, this easy! At my last doctor's appointment I was assured that I was nowhere near labor... that I should probably expect to actually carry beyond my due date... and that was fine with me. We joked around that if the baby was going to be late, he might have to share his birthday with his big sister! In the end, he came exactly 1 months before!

Phénix was born on Sept 24th, 2013. He is a VBAC baby! A baby born naturally after having had a c-section. Those who are close to me, will tell you how important it was for me to have a vbac! They will tell you how much researching I did! With his birth, I was able to close a particularly dark chapter in my life! The truth is, I had so many fears going into this... Uterine ruptures are real, what if I lost the baby, what if I ended up with a c-section anyway... but I also had lot's of trauma coming from my last pregnancy. You can read all about it in this post. And off course, even with the uterine rupture's risk, having a repeat c-section was no safer! As common as they have become, a C-section is a major surgery that is not risk free!

So let's go back to Monday Sept 23rd, because that is when it all started! On Monday I had my weekly Chiro appointment. For the last 3 days, I had been in horrible pain and had trouble walking.   The chiro did some minor adjustement but it still looked like the baby was high : I was 37w and 4d and there was no end in sight. I spent the afternoon at the park with Hudson, got home, made dinner, told Tristan I was miserable so he volunteered to do the bed time routine while I relaxed... I decided to bake a Peach Cobbler and then head to bed! As I was getting the ingredients out, just then, my water broke. I was stunned! Last appointment I was 0cm and not effaced at all. I had no contractions before and very little BH... but most of all, it was my first time going into labour... ever!

Tristan got really stressed! He thought the baby would arrive right away! He wanted to leave for the hospital right away but we had to wait for my mom to come and pick up Hudson! We packed our stuff and finally left for the hospital 3 towns away. We got there at around 8pm. The contractions were just starting but there was no pattern and they were not painful. If it wasn't for the fact that my water had broken, they would have probably sent me home. I was barely 1cm...

They pulled my file out and saw I had had a previous c-section. I told them I was going to Vbac and everyone got really excited. I got admitted and was told of a few "rules". The main one being... they would NOT for any reason use any induction or augmentation drug, so the labor had to be on its own.

The real labor started at about 10:45 pm and progress really slowly until 4 am to a 4 cm... At that point there was concern about the intense burning in my scar so the OB came and they did more checking (by the way I had to be on CFM the whole time, but I was fine with it. It was with a long cable, but the nurses with me had me move as much as I wanted and encouraged me trying many different positions). The OB on call told me we could still go a head, he did not believe I was in any rupture risk. At that point, the contraction became unbearable. It wasn't so much the contraction itself the problem. It was the intense pain in my back (at the same place as my back injury). And to make matter worse, my contraction were not timeable. They were right on top of each other in waves of 2 or 3. I would get breaks in between the waves of 2 to 7 minutes.

At 4:30 I reached 5cm and was allowed an epidural (they would not do one before by fear of slowing down my labor). The epidural was great and I fell asleep right there. I woke up at 9 am. They did a quick check and at my amazement I was 10 cm and fully effaced. They called my OB who was at his office across the street. He was really surprise to see me there. So early! With him, he had a resident OB from Newfoundland (well she studied in Newfoundland but was really a French-canadian from Montréal). She was great! I have no doubt she will be a very skill OB! My Ob assisted, and she delivered. I had to wait about 1:30 before starting to push, they wanted me to fell the urge to push and we also wanted the epidural to wear off so I could feel what I was doing. When the time came I pushed for about 30 min and baby came out healthy and screaming! The pushing was a little awkward because I still had no definite pattern in my contraction. I would get to push... and then I would have to wait anywhere from 3-7 minutes. 

Tristan was off a tremendous help during the pushing! He was right there with the Obs! He was the very first person to notice the gender of the baby and let out a very loud "it's a boy!!!". He even took the two Ob by surprise. Not only for me, but for him too this experience, so different then the one we lived 2 years before was an amazing experience.

As I sit here, one week later, I can only marvel at how truly was amazing the whole process was! I never felt so at peace with myself! It is that "feeling of peace" I have waited for since my c-section. For me, my vbac was a true healing experience. The support I received from the whole staff, from my OB, from my hospital but also from my family members made it all possible. As scared as I was, I was determined to NOT go through what I went through last time.

Just to be able to hold my baby right away! Just to be able to be there, physically and mentally. Awake, alert, feeling every step of the way. Knowing my body COULD do the right thing just brushed away 3 years of self doubt, disappointment and anxiety!

If you would like more info on Vbac here is a great place to start: ICAN
If you would like more information on my experience, feel free to contact me.