We made it to 9 months!

One is 9 months, the other is 32 months... both are sick... The summer is in full swing. It is hot and humid. I don't like it, Phenix doesn't like it and Hudson... well she's fine with it.

This last months was pretty awesome though. Phenix is a very effective crawler and like to get into everything. EVERYTHING! Especially house plant! I don't remember it being that bad with Hudson.





 
Difference #1

Hudson could go for a long time but had no speed (endurance)
Phenix has super speed but no endurance

The last few days were spent dealing with a never ending fever while enjoying some time in the pool. Hudson surprised us and did her first pool lenght. She can swim under water very very well.

Phenix also enjoys swimming and is making great progress. He loves jumping in the water and tries really hard to make bubbles.



Difference #2

At 9 months, Hudson was sick for the first time.
At 9 months, Phenix has never been well for more than 4 weeks at a time! Oh the joy of being a second kid!

The school year ended for everyone. Hudson enjoyed 2 days with daddy at his school as she discovered the joy of kindergarden. She made lot's of friends and was really happy to pack her own lunch in her own lunch box. Phenix also enjoyed the time he spent surrounded by other kids.






Difference #3

At 9 months Hudson was walking and had no hair and teeth.
At 9 months, Phenix show no sign of wanting to walk but has a full head of hair and 2 teeths.

Today is Canada day!!! Happy Canada day! We will be celebrating coast to coast (well almost) as we spend some time in Barrie, Brampton and Vancouver! I just hope we have a good flight as we will be flying with 2 kids for the first time!








 
Difference #4

On her first flight Hudson screamed for 6 hours in a row.
On his first flight Phenix slept the entire time.






As I write this, Phenix is still under the weather... Poor little one. His stomach has a hard time processing food. Which led to 2 things......... yes you know what I mean.... Luckily Phenix poos on the toilet. We did have 2 accidents (just couldnt run fast enough) but otherwise, Phenix is very good at making it to the toilet! 

Difference # 5

At 9 months, Hudson still had weekly accident
At 9 months, Phenix barely had any accident (2 accidents in 2 months)




Well that is it for today! Have a great holliday everyone ;-) 

8 and 31 = two happy kiddos

Well it is this time of the month again! Today Phenix turned 8 months while his sister turned 31 months! This last months has been very very busy for the entire family! It started with Mommy and Phenix flying to Vancouver. While mommy attended a conference at the University of British Colombia, Phenix spent some awesome time with his awesome aunt Coco! 

 

He also got to meet his cousins, great aunt and uncle and one of mommy's past life friend. Some of the highlights of the trip was seeing Ama quickly at the airport before she left for the Philippines, seeing some contestant racing for the amazing race, feeling what summer feels like for the very first time (he was NOT impress by the heat), seeing his first cherry blossom and the Pacific ocean!

 

Hudson stayed behind and had a sleep over at Grand-ma. It was her first time not nursing for more than 3 days. She did great. Mommy hoped she was going to wean... but at last no... she is going as strong as ever.

While we are talking about food... Phenix slowly started solids. Very slowly. He really only started ingesting it about two weeks ago. He seems to like asparagus and carrot best! His fine motor skills are not quite was his sister were at this age but otherwise he is meeting most milestone at the same pace she did! (except that he has 2 teeth already with 2 more cutting, while she only got her first at 12 months). Oh and I should add... Mommy has not had to change a poopy diaper since may 6th!!! Phenix has gotten very vocal about asking (specific grunting)... 

Otherwise, the whole family has been working on our gardens, harvesting fiddle heads at our local parks and trails and doing some small renovations around the house.

Today Hudson officially inaugurated the swimming season with the first jump and splash in the pool (70C not bad) and Phenix who has been army crawling and standing up with furniture finally figured out how to go from belly to sitting! 

   

Happy Boy's Day!!!!!!!!

My little guy is reaching so many milestone lately... it is hard to keep track! He added a few consonant sound just recently, started lifting himself to stand. Loves walking around while holding our hands, and is trying really hard to crawl (although no success on that front just yet!)

For the last few weeks, I let him play with some food (we did Baby led weaning with Hudson and will do it again with Phenix). He loves smashing it, but wants nothing to do with swallowing any. The look of disgust when food gets in his mouth tells all. lol Hudson only really started eating solid food closer to 9 months, so no worries there. Beside, he is such a big baby, the calorie dense breast milk is still the best option for him!

On the elimination communication front, he is doing great! He is slightly a head of his sister was at that age. I just love having 1 or 2 or 3 less poopy diaper a day to change. 

This month, Phenix was also able to add one more childhood illness to his repertoire.... after hand mouth and foot, gastroenteritis, influenza type B, he had Croup.... *sight* and to think at that age, Hudson had never been sick... not even a runny nose... lol

Phénix also got 2 teeth this months! His first!  That was really surprising to me as Hudson only got her first after turning 1. 

And since we are on the subject... Hudson this month got 2 new molars! 3 baby teeth to go and they will finally all be out. 

Like her brother she caught croup...

And well she is now a 30 months old breastfeeding toddler. 

She is thriving on all front, including in argumentation. lol She is her mom's daughter! lol

The big 6!

Phénix is 6 months! Hudson is 29 months! We had a rough month... but right now they are both sitting on the floor together and playing with gears! This is one of Hudson's favorite toy right now! And Phénix likes to chew on a gear while watching his sister play. "playing together" just started in the last few days. Hudson seem a little happier that her brother is finally "doing something" and Phénix just LOVES his sister. Being with her always makes him laugh and smile! Phénix can sit on his own, can roll around and has started to "try" scouting on his bum. Right now he doesn't make it really far but I can see him being successful soon. As for crawling... I don't think it will happen for a while longer. He much prefers sitting to being on his tummy.

We also started EC with Phénix. We started a bit later than we did with Hudson for two reason. Hudson could sit up unassisted a lot earlier (3 months), and the weather is so cold, I find it hard to have diaper free time. (Granted I could raise the thermostat on the house....) So we started about a month ago, and so far he is doing great! He goes twice a day and is pretty consistent. When the good weather will arrive (yes we are still sitting at -17 today...) we will be more proactive about it.

So I said we had a rough month... and we sure did. After a few days of very high fever, Hudson ended up in the hospital. Turned out she had the flu. (No one has had the flu in this house ever!) She did very well, and although she was very weak and sick, she kept on nursing! It was actually horrible for me as she wanted to nurse 24/7... but in the end, it kept her hydrated and well enough to fight without needing any IV.

As I kept nursing both, Phénix did not catch it either. He was swabbed for precaution a few days later and it was negative. That was such a relief! None of us got it either. The doctors were a little baffled ;-) During her sick days, I allowed Hudson to watch a little bit of TV on my tablet! She discovered the Bubble Guppies and really like it. Now that she is better, she ask me to watch it... I might allowed her too a little bit everyday. Otherwise, she took a liking for writing and can now write her name (although the "s" and the "n" are not quite looking like "s" or "n" yet). She also likes "reading" and started recognizing basic sight words. Right now she likes words with "m". The rest of the time, she is your typical 2 years old who likes to say "NO!", "What's that" and "WHY!"........ it gets draining.... especially when you ask her to stop and she then switches to the other language and restarts all over "NON!", "Qu'est-ce que tu fais", "Pourquoi!"....

So March was pretty much spent taking care of a sick toddler while finishing my semester! As for Phénix... as healthy as he is... he is teething.... and teething.... and teething... and just like it was for his older sister... nothing is coming out... it is taking for ever...... so I am a little bit short on sleep right now. But it's ok... who needs sleep anyway ;-)

 

Colic? Purple Crying? NOPE... blame the fleece

A few days after turning 2 months, our son started crying every night at the same time... for more or less an hour (sometimes longer...) Hudson never did this! I knew he was not overtired... him being such a good sleeper... Yet every night at around 7:30, he would start hysterically screaming... no matter what we did... he would not stop... we nursed, we rocked, we walked, we sang, we flashed lights, used sound machine, sushed him, brought him on car ride... you name it... there would be the odd day where we would have no "colic" but otherwise it was very steady and heart wrenching... (no mother likes to see their baby cry like that). We talked about it with friend, with doctor.... and well... we were told : "Just your classic case of colic" We were even told to be thankful he didn't scream any longer than an hour... So we went with the flow... and every night got ready for his "colic"... Knowing one day it would end!

Then he turned 5 months... and as quickly as the colic came, the colic stopped... for 6 nights that is... Then last night it came back!!!! We were devastated! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!! What did we do differently! Why stop for 6 days and then go right back at it! Then it hit me! I quickly removed his PJ and layer him down on the cold cotton bed sheet. He stopped right away! And went back to his happy self!

I had my answer right then! The fleece PJ! When he was around 2 months, the weather cold colder and we started using fleece PJ at night.... then 6 days ago, I notice he had eczema (which got confirmed by the doctor), so I stopped using fleece PJ (I myself have eczema and can hardly touch fleece)... But I had never done the math... it should have been obvious... PJ fleece + dry sensitive skin = lot's of pain!!!! 

I think that some of the reasons I never really made the connection was 1. Hudson does not have eczema; 2. His eczema only became visible 2 weeks ago and 3. I was blinded by "it's just a colicky baby... it will pass".

I feel horrible about it... and can't help but wonder how many colicky baby actually have a "real reason to cry" that goes undetected... 

So no more fleece anything for Phénix and just bought some raw shea butter... time to make some serious anti-eczema cream ;-)

The dreaded 4 months sleep regression! Phénix is finally 5 months!

Oh the o-so-dreaded-4-months-sleep-regression! Try it! Type sleep regression on google and see what comes up! Pages after pages of mothers on the verge of exhaustion wondering what on earth is wrong with their baby who used to be such a good sleeper!!! Then follows as many post promoting the wonder of sleep training, from Ferber to Cry-it-out, from how to extend nap to teach your baby to self sooth...

Well, all you complaining people... I laugh at thee. Yes! Oh oh... I guess some of you are upset now. See the truth is... I have no pity... no empathy either... Do you know how much I wanted to live through a sleep regression with Hudson! Yes! I was begging for one! Because a sleep regression meant that at one point, she had been a good sleeper... it meant that at one point she had probably slept for more than an hour... Today Hudson is 28 months... and I can honestly say... we NEVER had a sleep regression with her... where could it possibly have regressed too... she did not sleep anyway! Off course, now she is a better sleeper, and will sometimes sleep through the night, like once last week! And then there are night where she is up on the hour... very inconsistent... well.. off course I am exhausted... but I also swore I would never complain if one of my kid happened to be a good sleeper and suddenly went through a sleep regression. 

And well Phénix turned 4 months, had a stomach bug, a stuffed nose, he's teething... and well you guessed it... he has not really sleep all month... except in someone's arm, while standing and walking back and fourth. That sucks... sure... I am exhausted... and yes... I am already back to work... But a masochistic part of me is so happy we are going through this sleep regression! Yes! For two reasons! First because, I know when all is said and done, he will start sleeping through the night again (and probably sooner than later) and two, because prior to this sleep regression I was able to get some rest... 3 months of decent nights have left me with some energy to make up for this month's short coming

Off course, I don't wish a sleep regression to anyone, but I am a bitter mom, and with Hudson in our life, I have learned to value my sleep. So, if your baby is currently going through a sleep regression, just be thankful that at some point, you were able to get him to sleep... and hang on to the fact that in a few weeks, it will all be over! And if by any chance you are the mom to a kid, who just like Hudson "needs not to sleep"... Just hang on... one day, they shall be a teenager! 

So Phénix is 5 months today! Hudson is 28 months... guess which one sleeps better. 

And then there are days like this.... Notice anything on the picture? We waited for over an hour... in line... so she could go mushing... 

When her turn finally came, she was fast asleep... no matter how hard we tried, we could not wake her up... so mushing she went... and sleeping she did.... and has no recollection of her ballad on the frozen lake...

The not so pretty, the bad and the ugly... momma PHD

 

I took this picture yesterday morning, as I was trying to get ready to go to work. And by work, I mean go to my University to get some work done on my thesis proposal.

My daughter was clearly not happy...

I said to her : "Smile for mommy" and this is the evil look she gave me.

I was trying to get her ready to go to her school... She loves it there... but she doesn't like how rushed we are in the morning... 

How mommy has to get ready... get Phénix ready... get her ready.... 

It is hard not to feel guilty. But when it happens, I try to remember that I am lucky enough to be home with my kids, 5 days a week. I didn't have to go back to work after a six weeks maternity leave... 

Phénix will probably never remember I left him at home 8 hours a day twice a week...

Yet, I feel guilty. I feel torn. One part of me wants to stay home with my kids while they are little... we all know how fast they grow... But part of me also wants that PHD... more than anything...

And in those moments... when the guilt takes over... when I realized I spend more time in front of the computer than with my kids, that Phénix only ate 2 oz all day when I was gone, that my house looks like a hurricane went through...

I take a moment... I close my eyes... and I remember why I do this!

When my eyes are closed, I can see myself... in my black graduation gown... crossing the stage, while holding Hudson and Phénix's hands, to receive my diploma! 

This is the image I am holding on. The only one worth this chaotic life. Not an image of "me" gradating. Not and image of "me" with my happy family. But instead, the combined image of me graduating with my family! 

One or the other could not make me happy.

If I had one but not the other, I would not feel happiness, I would not feel successful..

I need one and the other to define me...

But more importantly: I have to keep my eyes on the price!

Today, Phénix is 4 months! Compared to his sister, he is a big boy! Some days, I find, he never was little. Growing too fast... way too fast... This week, twice, he sat up by himself! He also started swimming lessons and let me tell you, he is a natural! Last week, he grabbed a toy for the first time! I am telling you... he is growing way too fast.

Today, his big sister is 28 months... and she rocks my world. I love how stubborn she is. I love how much self-confidence she has. But what I LOVE most about her, is how caring she is. She makes me proud in so many ways! If only she could consistently sleep through the night... alas... it is still a fierce battle to get her to bed.... But I am sure... one day... I will miss it ;-)

  

What 2013 has taught me

Well, this has been a really busy Holiday season! I did not have time for a few posts I had planned. On Christmas eve my little man turned 3 months old! He is doing great and he is a great sleeper, on most nights, he sleeps through the night... on the other hand... his sister is still not sleeping much...

Last night we rang in the New Year, in our warm comfy bed, after a great day sliding and visiting friends. I made my New Year Resolution (drink more water) and tackled the 2014.

For a while I was tempted in writing a year in review post, but decided instead to write a "What has 2013 taught me" post instead... so without further delay... here it is! 

(In no particular order)

-You don't know how easy it is to have 1 kid until you have a second one!

-Tandem nursing sucks! (but we are still going strong)

-When your legs are hairier than the cat's, it is time to shave them!

-Never send your husband by himself  for a hair cut!

-Leaving your kid for the first time at school/daycare is heart wrenching!

-A chiro is your best friend during pregnancy!

-It is amazing how quickly a gastro enteritis can spread!

-When you have kids in school/daycare you encounter illnesses you have never heard off before! (Hand, mouth and foot disease for us).

-Some babies are just naturally good sleeper (parents should stop taking the credit)

-Some babies are just naturally horrible sleeper (no your parenting skills don't suck)

-A VBAC is amazing!

-You don't realize how horrible the recovery of a c-section is until (unless) you've had a natural birth!

- Even a third degree tear and horrible hemorrhoids is still more enjoyable to recover from than a c-section!

-Using all natural, home made cleaner is the best, especially when your toddler decides to use it to wash her little brother! (no harm done, it was vinegar and orange peel)

-In DIY renovation, the final cost never matches the estimate your husband gave you!

-Having one of each is expensive!

-Having one of each is fun!

-Phénix is a very common name.... on our street... 

-Santa exists!

-Papa has no money (No money papa)

-No matter how many toys your kid gets on Christmas eve, you will find them playing with some empty bottles and old tennis ball on Christmas morning!

-Even if it is sunny in the forecast, as soon as your tent is set up, it will rain.
-You can live with 3 hours a sleep a night!
-You can survive on 3 hours of sleep a week!
-2 kids + PHD studies = a very ambitious mother of two who is constantly nearing a burn out!
-Give scissor to your toddler and she shall cut! (including the table cloth)
-Some toddlers have a fascination for everything sharp! 

-I am lucky to have the people I have in my life!

Growing pain

How convenient that both Hudson and Phénix have their birthday on the 24th! So one is 25 months today and the other is 2 months old! The month has been pretty uneventful and that is a good thing... we battled Hand, foot and mouth decease... both kids had their run with it. Phénix had multiple cluster feeding sessions, with one lasting 10 hours... but other than that we are all doing well! Hudson is discovering the joy of Christmas and LOVES helping mom wrapping gift. She is in charge of the scotch tape. She has also become a pro cutter! We got her a pair of scissor and she has now master the art of cutting on a line... next step when she is a bit better, will be to teach her how to cut fabric. She can't wait to be sewing with mommy! And mommy can't wait to share her sewing room with Hudson. Hudson is already really good at handling the pins and assorting fabric for different project! Together we were able to sew 13 pair of PJ pants in the months of November! She also helped with her Christmas dress. I am so happy she loves sewing. I can totally see this becoming our Mommy-daughter activity.

 

As for Phénix, he is growing like a champ! He is gainning on average 1 lbs a week since birth. He is exclusively breastfed off course. He sleeps well most of the time, he likes to hang out with mommy when she works on her thesis, and with daddy when he watches his TV show. He is a very strong baby. He has been able to roll from back to tummy for a few weeks now, he holds his head at all time and he started pushing on his leg and arms to get on a crawling position... (although he doesn't quite acheive it yet). He is also showing great core strenght as he is starting to be able to sit on his own. Just like his sister was, he is a very strong baby.

 

Both Kids are getting along very well. I am so happy and releived about this. I was so scared Hudson would not accept her little brother. But I guess it was love at first sight! She takes such good care of him, it is heart warming to see them together.

 

I am still tandem nursing... ahhhhhhhhhh... I really hadn't plan on it. I mean, I am not too found of it. Not that it is hard or time consumming, as a matter of fact, I think tandem nursing kind of save me at first! Hudson was able to pump up a great supply, I now have over 80 oz stash for when I go back to work... Hudson is great at sharing, she always let Phenix eat first... but the only problem is that... Hudson went from nursing 2 times a day to wanting to nurse every time Phénix eats!!! Most of the time I tell her no (I really dont have enough milk to do that lol) but then I have to deal with a very sad toddler (or sometimes angry toddler)... It is getting a bit better, I think she is starting to understand, but it has been hard.

 

When I saw my OB, we briefly talked about it and he said to me : "Great Job! You ae doing awesome! I myself was breastfed pasted the age of 3 and I thank my mom for that!" It felt good to hear that. So at this time, I still have no plan to wean her... I know she really needs it. I know she is proud of sharing this special time with me. I know she is proud of sharing with Phénix. I still think there are more benefits to bad side to it.

So much to celebrate so much to be thankful for

Happy birthday Hudson!!!

Well it's been 2 years! Hudson has been sleeping through the night for 4 weeks now! Actually 2 days before Phenix was born she started sleeping... We didn't do anything different... we didn't change anything... we used no gimmicks... she just did. Like that... suddenly one night... and then the following night... and then again... and again... A miracle. Hudson is now 2 years old, she's a big girl and takes really good care of her little brother. I can already tell, these two are lucky to have each other. 

Phenix is 1 month old!

Phenix is 1 month old. Phenix is not at all like his sister. Sometimes Phenix sleeps through the night... yes... already... Phenix is patient... even when he is hungry. Phenix likes company but he also likes to spend time on his own. Phenix has a big sister that loves him really much. A big sister that spends her entire day looking out for him... making sure he is well fed, has a clean bum and that he is well entertained!

 

Today, I have been breastfeeding for 2 years! 

It's my turn to be celebrated. Today I have been breastfeeding for 2 years. I am so proud! I could scream it on all the roof. But it has not been easy. Breastfeeding is NOT always easy. I fought low supply, illness, complete lost of supply, oversea travel, severely cracked nipples, lost of supply due to pregnancy, nursing aversion, nursing strike... you name it! But we carried on... we did... and then we added Phenix to the mix...
 

AND

I have been successfully tandem nursing for 1 month! 

Now I am nursing TWO! I was so scared at first... but it has been so easy... really... well... not from the start thought... Phenix did not have a good latch and had to be cup fed for the first 4 days... but we carried on... Phenix had to go to breastfeeding school every other day... a one hour drive away... but we carried on... and then one day, he figured it out! He graduated from breastfeeding school with honor and is now on his way to become a chubby monkey. During that time, his big sister was very happy to fed on demand to stimulate supply... and let me tell you, she did an AMAZING job... except for the part where  I now have some serious over supply issues.... ;-) But in the end both are happy, both enjoying sharing and that is enough to me make feel like the luckiest mother on earth! And if you are wondering when they will wean.... well I don't know... and frankly I don't care... they can wean whenever they want... 

And one last thing before I go... 

A pet peeve of mine... yes... I am sorry to end this post on such a negative note... but I would really much want to take this out of my chest... Since the birth of Phenix, I have been hearing this sentence a lot "How lucky, a boy and a girl... now your family is complete"... I know people mean well when they say it... but in all honesty, it irks me... I hate the fact that it implies that unless you have one of each, you have not succeeded! I am very happy to have both a boy and a girl, but I would have been as happy to have 2 girls or 2 boys! Not to mention, that we never planed on having only 2 kids... so I hate how people assume that we can just stop having kids because we have one of each... I can already here it... "you are pregnant again... was it an accident..." so here it is! I am saying it : NO our family is NOT complete! It probably won't be for a while... and NO the size of my family does not depend on the gender of my children! 

 

 

My little Tuna is now a BIG sister!

On September 24th, Tuna turned 23 months old! On that day, she also became a BIG Sister! I never expected things would happen this quickly, this easy! At my last doctor's appointment I was assured that I was nowhere near labor... that I should probably expect to actually carry beyond my due date... and that was fine with me. We joked around that if the baby was going to be late, he might have to share his birthday with his big sister! In the end, he came exactly 1 months before!

Phénix was born on Sept 24th, 2013. He is a VBAC baby! A baby born naturally after having had a c-section. Those who are close to me, will tell you how important it was for me to have a vbac! They will tell you how much researching I did! With his birth, I was able to close a particularly dark chapter in my life! The truth is, I had so many fears going into this... Uterine ruptures are real, what if I lost the baby, what if I ended up with a c-section anyway... but I also had lot's of trauma coming from my last pregnancy. You can read all about it in this post. And off course, even with the uterine rupture's risk, having a repeat c-section was no safer! As common as they have become, a C-section is a major surgery that is not risk free!

So let's go back to Monday Sept 23rd, because that is when it all started! On Monday I had my weekly Chiro appointment. For the last 3 days, I had been in horrible pain and had trouble walking.   The chiro did some minor adjustement but it still looked like the baby was high : I was 37w and 4d and there was no end in sight. I spent the afternoon at the park with Hudson, got home, made dinner, told Tristan I was miserable so he volunteered to do the bed time routine while I relaxed... I decided to bake a Peach Cobbler and then head to bed! As I was getting the ingredients out, just then, my water broke. I was stunned! Last appointment I was 0cm and not effaced at all. I had no contractions before and very little BH... but most of all, it was my first time going into labour... ever!

Tristan got really stressed! He thought the baby would arrive right away! He wanted to leave for the hospital right away but we had to wait for my mom to come and pick up Hudson! We packed our stuff and finally left for the hospital 3 towns away. We got there at around 8pm. The contractions were just starting but there was no pattern and they were not painful. If it wasn't for the fact that my water had broken, they would have probably sent me home. I was barely 1cm...

They pulled my file out and saw I had had a previous c-section. I told them I was going to Vbac and everyone got really excited. I got admitted and was told of a few "rules". The main one being... they would NOT for any reason use any induction or augmentation drug, so the labor had to be on its own.

The real labor started at about 10:45 pm and progress really slowly until 4 am to a 4 cm... At that point there was concern about the intense burning in my scar so the OB came and they did more checking (by the way I had to be on CFM the whole time, but I was fine with it. It was with a long cable, but the nurses with me had me move as much as I wanted and encouraged me trying many different positions). The OB on call told me we could still go a head, he did not believe I was in any rupture risk. At that point, the contraction became unbearable. It wasn't so much the contraction itself the problem. It was the intense pain in my back (at the same place as my back injury). And to make matter worse, my contraction were not timeable. They were right on top of each other in waves of 2 or 3. I would get breaks in between the waves of 2 to 7 minutes.

At 4:30 I reached 5cm and was allowed an epidural (they would not do one before by fear of slowing down my labor). The epidural was great and I fell asleep right there. I woke up at 9 am. They did a quick check and at my amazement I was 10 cm and fully effaced. They called my OB who was at his office across the street. He was really surprise to see me there. So early! With him, he had a resident OB from Newfoundland (well she studied in Newfoundland but was really a French-canadian from Montréal). She was great! I have no doubt she will be a very skill OB! My Ob assisted, and she delivered. I had to wait about 1:30 before starting to push, they wanted me to fell the urge to push and we also wanted the epidural to wear off so I could feel what I was doing. When the time came I pushed for about 30 min and baby came out healthy and screaming! The pushing was a little awkward because I still had no definite pattern in my contraction. I would get to push... and then I would have to wait anywhere from 3-7 minutes. 

Tristan was off a tremendous help during the pushing! He was right there with the Obs! He was the very first person to notice the gender of the baby and let out a very loud "it's a boy!!!". He even took the two Ob by surprise. Not only for me, but for him too this experience, so different then the one we lived 2 years before was an amazing experience.

As I sit here, one week later, I can only marvel at how truly was amazing the whole process was! I never felt so at peace with myself! It is that "feeling of peace" I have waited for since my c-section. For me, my vbac was a true healing experience. The support I received from the whole staff, from my OB, from my hospital but also from my family members made it all possible. As scared as I was, I was determined to NOT go through what I went through last time.

Just to be able to hold my baby right away! Just to be able to be there, physically and mentally. Awake, alert, feeling every step of the way. Knowing my body COULD do the right thing just brushed away 3 years of self doubt, disappointment and anxiety!

If you would like more info on Vbac here is a great place to start: ICAN
If you would like more information on my experience, feel free to contact me.