Metal sheet board, DIY

As we start arranging things around the house (as we transform our house, from a two adults household, to a many kids paradise), my husband and I are relying more and more on Pinterest to solve some simple problems, to get some design ideas and to get inspire!

Lately, it had become obvious that we needed to give Hudson a surface where she could doodle all day. We debated for a while if we were going to get her a whiteboard or a blackboard... we liked the idea of a dust free white board, but we previously had a horrible experience with the DIY whiteboard paint... the biggest waste of money, it never worked and left us with a wall to strip and repaint... so we opted for black board (we also thought it would look better anyway and we bought dustless chalk).

We thought the best place to do it was on our dividing wall in the kitchen, this way Hudson can be entertained, and mommy can cook dinner. On that wall, we already had a cork board and a white board but never liked the overall look... so Pinterest here we came... 

We decided to purchase a metal sheet and use it as a magnetic/white board! Yes, you can use metal just like a white board! Technically we could even have painted it with the chalk paint to make a magnetic chalk board, but that was not our plan ;-)

So here it is! We bought a 45X45 inches metal sheet (26 gauge) for 20$ (they custom cut it to the size and shape we wanted), painted the bottom wall with chalk paint (11$) and framed the whole project with white trim (15$) And voila!

We painted the chalk paint directly on the wall, and stud screwed the metal sheet. We then installed a trim matching the door frame trim. Last we painted the trim white! and Done!

 

The dreaded 4 months sleep regression! Phénix is finally 5 months!

Oh the o-so-dreaded-4-months-sleep-regression! Try it! Type sleep regression on google and see what comes up! Pages after pages of mothers on the verge of exhaustion wondering what on earth is wrong with their baby who used to be such a good sleeper!!! Then follows as many post promoting the wonder of sleep training, from Ferber to Cry-it-out, from how to extend nap to teach your baby to self sooth...

Well, all you complaining people... I laugh at thee. Yes! Oh oh... I guess some of you are upset now. See the truth is... I have no pity... no empathy either... Do you know how much I wanted to live through a sleep regression with Hudson! Yes! I was begging for one! Because a sleep regression meant that at one point, she had been a good sleeper... it meant that at one point she had probably slept for more than an hour... Today Hudson is 28 months... and I can honestly say... we NEVER had a sleep regression with her... where could it possibly have regressed too... she did not sleep anyway! Off course, now she is a better sleeper, and will sometimes sleep through the night, like once last week! And then there are night where she is up on the hour... very inconsistent... well.. off course I am exhausted... but I also swore I would never complain if one of my kid happened to be a good sleeper and suddenly went through a sleep regression. 

And well Phénix turned 4 months, had a stomach bug, a stuffed nose, he's teething... and well you guessed it... he has not really sleep all month... except in someone's arm, while standing and walking back and fourth. That sucks... sure... I am exhausted... and yes... I am already back to work... But a masochistic part of me is so happy we are going through this sleep regression! Yes! For two reasons! First because, I know when all is said and done, he will start sleeping through the night again (and probably sooner than later) and two, because prior to this sleep regression I was able to get some rest... 3 months of decent nights have left me with some energy to make up for this month's short coming

Off course, I don't wish a sleep regression to anyone, but I am a bitter mom, and with Hudson in our life, I have learned to value my sleep. So, if your baby is currently going through a sleep regression, just be thankful that at some point, you were able to get him to sleep... and hang on to the fact that in a few weeks, it will all be over! And if by any chance you are the mom to a kid, who just like Hudson "needs not to sleep"... Just hang on... one day, they shall be a teenager! 

So Phénix is 5 months today! Hudson is 28 months... guess which one sleeps better. 

And then there are days like this.... Notice anything on the picture? We waited for over an hour... in line... so she could go mushing... 

When her turn finally came, she was fast asleep... no matter how hard we tried, we could not wake her up... so mushing she went... and sleeping she did.... and has no recollection of her ballad on the frozen lake...

The not so pretty, the bad and the ugly... momma PHD

 

I took this picture yesterday morning, as I was trying to get ready to go to work. And by work, I mean go to my University to get some work done on my thesis proposal.

My daughter was clearly not happy...

I said to her : "Smile for mommy" and this is the evil look she gave me.

I was trying to get her ready to go to her school... She loves it there... but she doesn't like how rushed we are in the morning... 

How mommy has to get ready... get Phénix ready... get her ready.... 

It is hard not to feel guilty. But when it happens, I try to remember that I am lucky enough to be home with my kids, 5 days a week. I didn't have to go back to work after a six weeks maternity leave... 

Phénix will probably never remember I left him at home 8 hours a day twice a week...

Yet, I feel guilty. I feel torn. One part of me wants to stay home with my kids while they are little... we all know how fast they grow... But part of me also wants that PHD... more than anything...

And in those moments... when the guilt takes over... when I realized I spend more time in front of the computer than with my kids, that Phénix only ate 2 oz all day when I was gone, that my house looks like a hurricane went through...

I take a moment... I close my eyes... and I remember why I do this!

When my eyes are closed, I can see myself... in my black graduation gown... crossing the stage, while holding Hudson and Phénix's hands, to receive my diploma! 

This is the image I am holding on. The only one worth this chaotic life. Not an image of "me" gradating. Not and image of "me" with my happy family. But instead, the combined image of me graduating with my family! 

One or the other could not make me happy.

If I had one but not the other, I would not feel happiness, I would not feel successful..

I need one and the other to define me...

But more importantly: I have to keep my eyes on the price!

Today, Phénix is 4 months! Compared to his sister, he is a big boy! Some days, I find, he never was little. Growing too fast... way too fast... This week, twice, he sat up by himself! He also started swimming lessons and let me tell you, he is a natural! Last week, he grabbed a toy for the first time! I am telling you... he is growing way too fast.

Today, his big sister is 28 months... and she rocks my world. I love how stubborn she is. I love how much self-confidence she has. But what I LOVE most about her, is how caring she is. She makes me proud in so many ways! If only she could consistently sleep through the night... alas... it is still a fierce battle to get her to bed.... But I am sure... one day... I will miss it ;-)

  

What 2013 has taught me

Well, this has been a really busy Holiday season! I did not have time for a few posts I had planned. On Christmas eve my little man turned 3 months old! He is doing great and he is a great sleeper, on most nights, he sleeps through the night... on the other hand... his sister is still not sleeping much...

Last night we rang in the New Year, in our warm comfy bed, after a great day sliding and visiting friends. I made my New Year Resolution (drink more water) and tackled the 2014.

For a while I was tempted in writing a year in review post, but decided instead to write a "What has 2013 taught me" post instead... so without further delay... here it is! 

(In no particular order)

-You don't know how easy it is to have 1 kid until you have a second one!

-Tandem nursing sucks! (but we are still going strong)

-When your legs are hairier than the cat's, it is time to shave them!

-Never send your husband by himself  for a hair cut!

-Leaving your kid for the first time at school/daycare is heart wrenching!

-A chiro is your best friend during pregnancy!

-It is amazing how quickly a gastro enteritis can spread!

-When you have kids in school/daycare you encounter illnesses you have never heard off before! (Hand, mouth and foot disease for us).

-Some babies are just naturally good sleeper (parents should stop taking the credit)

-Some babies are just naturally horrible sleeper (no your parenting skills don't suck)

-A VBAC is amazing!

-You don't realize how horrible the recovery of a c-section is until (unless) you've had a natural birth!

- Even a third degree tear and horrible hemorrhoids is still more enjoyable to recover from than a c-section!

-Using all natural, home made cleaner is the best, especially when your toddler decides to use it to wash her little brother! (no harm done, it was vinegar and orange peel)

-In DIY renovation, the final cost never matches the estimate your husband gave you!

-Having one of each is expensive!

-Having one of each is fun!

-Phénix is a very common name.... on our street... 

-Santa exists!

-Papa has no money (No money papa)

-No matter how many toys your kid gets on Christmas eve, you will find them playing with some empty bottles and old tennis ball on Christmas morning!

-Even if it is sunny in the forecast, as soon as your tent is set up, it will rain.
-You can live with 3 hours a sleep a night!
-You can survive on 3 hours of sleep a week!
-2 kids + PHD studies = a very ambitious mother of two who is constantly nearing a burn out!
-Give scissor to your toddler and she shall cut! (including the table cloth)
-Some toddlers have a fascination for everything sharp! 

-I am lucky to have the people I have in my life!

DIY advent calendar

For the first time ever, we will be receiving for Christmas! This meant, I had no choice... I had to decorate and put up a Christmas tree! After selecting a color palette, off I went shopping for ornaments (and made a few thanks to pinterest!). Next was to figure out a reusable advent calendar for the kids. I wanted something I would be able to reuse, fill myself and would match our Christmas decor. It had to be big, bold and exciting. I browsed pinterest and found many great ideas. In the end, I came up with my own design! And here it is! 

 

Basically, I bought fabric in 4 colors, sewed 12 bags (about the size of a sandwich ziploc), I stenciled the number on the fabric with some glitter paint. I filled the bags with goodies and tied it with a little piece of shinny twine. I then covered my staircase railing with Dollorama Christmas garland and I used cloth pins shaped like birds (got them last years at homesense) to hang the bags.

I decided to make the bag big enough so that I could put multiple item in each (this way, all the kids will share the same advent calendars). I also decided to only make 12 bags, for the 12 days of Christmas... instead of 25. This way, I could buy better items.... hence less junk.... and not have to spend too much money.

The bags mostly contain useful items, craft material or even some fun activity... (example, in one bag a little card says, let's go to the pool! In another one, there is a pouch of hot chocolate and a memo that says, let's go play in the snow!)

The breakdown of the cost was as follow:

-Dollorama garland 4 $

-Fabric + twine 11$

-Cloth pins 7$

-Paint 1$

Growing pain

How convenient that both Hudson and Phénix have their birthday on the 24th! So one is 25 months today and the other is 2 months old! The month has been pretty uneventful and that is a good thing... we battled Hand, foot and mouth decease... both kids had their run with it. Phénix had multiple cluster feeding sessions, with one lasting 10 hours... but other than that we are all doing well! Hudson is discovering the joy of Christmas and LOVES helping mom wrapping gift. She is in charge of the scotch tape. She has also become a pro cutter! We got her a pair of scissor and she has now master the art of cutting on a line... next step when she is a bit better, will be to teach her how to cut fabric. She can't wait to be sewing with mommy! And mommy can't wait to share her sewing room with Hudson. Hudson is already really good at handling the pins and assorting fabric for different project! Together we were able to sew 13 pair of PJ pants in the months of November! She also helped with her Christmas dress. I am so happy she loves sewing. I can totally see this becoming our Mommy-daughter activity.

 

As for Phénix, he is growing like a champ! He is gainning on average 1 lbs a week since birth. He is exclusively breastfed off course. He sleeps well most of the time, he likes to hang out with mommy when she works on her thesis, and with daddy when he watches his TV show. He is a very strong baby. He has been able to roll from back to tummy for a few weeks now, he holds his head at all time and he started pushing on his leg and arms to get on a crawling position... (although he doesn't quite acheive it yet). He is also showing great core strenght as he is starting to be able to sit on his own. Just like his sister was, he is a very strong baby.

 

Both Kids are getting along very well. I am so happy and releived about this. I was so scared Hudson would not accept her little brother. But I guess it was love at first sight! She takes such good care of him, it is heart warming to see them together.

 

I am still tandem nursing... ahhhhhhhhhh... I really hadn't plan on it. I mean, I am not too found of it. Not that it is hard or time consumming, as a matter of fact, I think tandem nursing kind of save me at first! Hudson was able to pump up a great supply, I now have over 80 oz stash for when I go back to work... Hudson is great at sharing, she always let Phenix eat first... but the only problem is that... Hudson went from nursing 2 times a day to wanting to nurse every time Phénix eats!!! Most of the time I tell her no (I really dont have enough milk to do that lol) but then I have to deal with a very sad toddler (or sometimes angry toddler)... It is getting a bit better, I think she is starting to understand, but it has been hard.

 

When I saw my OB, we briefly talked about it and he said to me : "Great Job! You ae doing awesome! I myself was breastfed pasted the age of 3 and I thank my mom for that!" It felt good to hear that. So at this time, I still have no plan to wean her... I know she really needs it. I know she is proud of sharing this special time with me. I know she is proud of sharing with Phénix. I still think there are more benefits to bad side to it.

So much to celebrate so much to be thankful for

Happy birthday Hudson!!!

Well it's been 2 years! Hudson has been sleeping through the night for 4 weeks now! Actually 2 days before Phenix was born she started sleeping... We didn't do anything different... we didn't change anything... we used no gimmicks... she just did. Like that... suddenly one night... and then the following night... and then again... and again... A miracle. Hudson is now 2 years old, she's a big girl and takes really good care of her little brother. I can already tell, these two are lucky to have each other. 

Phenix is 1 month old!

Phenix is 1 month old. Phenix is not at all like his sister. Sometimes Phenix sleeps through the night... yes... already... Phenix is patient... even when he is hungry. Phenix likes company but he also likes to spend time on his own. Phenix has a big sister that loves him really much. A big sister that spends her entire day looking out for him... making sure he is well fed, has a clean bum and that he is well entertained!

 

Today, I have been breastfeeding for 2 years! 

It's my turn to be celebrated. Today I have been breastfeeding for 2 years. I am so proud! I could scream it on all the roof. But it has not been easy. Breastfeeding is NOT always easy. I fought low supply, illness, complete lost of supply, oversea travel, severely cracked nipples, lost of supply due to pregnancy, nursing aversion, nursing strike... you name it! But we carried on... we did... and then we added Phenix to the mix...
 

AND

I have been successfully tandem nursing for 1 month! 

Now I am nursing TWO! I was so scared at first... but it has been so easy... really... well... not from the start thought... Phenix did not have a good latch and had to be cup fed for the first 4 days... but we carried on... Phenix had to go to breastfeeding school every other day... a one hour drive away... but we carried on... and then one day, he figured it out! He graduated from breastfeeding school with honor and is now on his way to become a chubby monkey. During that time, his big sister was very happy to fed on demand to stimulate supply... and let me tell you, she did an AMAZING job... except for the part where  I now have some serious over supply issues.... ;-) But in the end both are happy, both enjoying sharing and that is enough to me make feel like the luckiest mother on earth! And if you are wondering when they will wean.... well I don't know... and frankly I don't care... they can wean whenever they want... 

And one last thing before I go... 

A pet peeve of mine... yes... I am sorry to end this post on such a negative note... but I would really much want to take this out of my chest... Since the birth of Phenix, I have been hearing this sentence a lot "How lucky, a boy and a girl... now your family is complete"... I know people mean well when they say it... but in all honesty, it irks me... I hate the fact that it implies that unless you have one of each, you have not succeeded! I am very happy to have both a boy and a girl, but I would have been as happy to have 2 girls or 2 boys! Not to mention, that we never planed on having only 2 kids... so I hate how people assume that we can just stop having kids because we have one of each... I can already here it... "you are pregnant again... was it an accident..." so here it is! I am saying it : NO our family is NOT complete! It probably won't be for a while... and NO the size of my family does not depend on the gender of my children! 

 

 

My little Tuna is now a BIG sister!

On September 24th, Tuna turned 23 months old! On that day, she also became a BIG Sister! I never expected things would happen this quickly, this easy! At my last doctor's appointment I was assured that I was nowhere near labor... that I should probably expect to actually carry beyond my due date... and that was fine with me. We joked around that if the baby was going to be late, he might have to share his birthday with his big sister! In the end, he came exactly 1 months before!

Phénix was born on Sept 24th, 2013. He is a VBAC baby! A baby born naturally after having had a c-section. Those who are close to me, will tell you how important it was for me to have a vbac! They will tell you how much researching I did! With his birth, I was able to close a particularly dark chapter in my life! The truth is, I had so many fears going into this... Uterine ruptures are real, what if I lost the baby, what if I ended up with a c-section anyway... but I also had lot's of trauma coming from my last pregnancy. You can read all about it in this post. And off course, even with the uterine rupture's risk, having a repeat c-section was no safer! As common as they have become, a C-section is a major surgery that is not risk free!

So let's go back to Monday Sept 23rd, because that is when it all started! On Monday I had my weekly Chiro appointment. For the last 3 days, I had been in horrible pain and had trouble walking.   The chiro did some minor adjustement but it still looked like the baby was high : I was 37w and 4d and there was no end in sight. I spent the afternoon at the park with Hudson, got home, made dinner, told Tristan I was miserable so he volunteered to do the bed time routine while I relaxed... I decided to bake a Peach Cobbler and then head to bed! As I was getting the ingredients out, just then, my water broke. I was stunned! Last appointment I was 0cm and not effaced at all. I had no contractions before and very little BH... but most of all, it was my first time going into labour... ever!

Tristan got really stressed! He thought the baby would arrive right away! He wanted to leave for the hospital right away but we had to wait for my mom to come and pick up Hudson! We packed our stuff and finally left for the hospital 3 towns away. We got there at around 8pm. The contractions were just starting but there was no pattern and they were not painful. If it wasn't for the fact that my water had broken, they would have probably sent me home. I was barely 1cm...

They pulled my file out and saw I had had a previous c-section. I told them I was going to Vbac and everyone got really excited. I got admitted and was told of a few "rules". The main one being... they would NOT for any reason use any induction or augmentation drug, so the labor had to be on its own.

The real labor started at about 10:45 pm and progress really slowly until 4 am to a 4 cm... At that point there was concern about the intense burning in my scar so the OB came and they did more checking (by the way I had to be on CFM the whole time, but I was fine with it. It was with a long cable, but the nurses with me had me move as much as I wanted and encouraged me trying many different positions). The OB on call told me we could still go a head, he did not believe I was in any rupture risk. At that point, the contraction became unbearable. It wasn't so much the contraction itself the problem. It was the intense pain in my back (at the same place as my back injury). And to make matter worse, my contraction were not timeable. They were right on top of each other in waves of 2 or 3. I would get breaks in between the waves of 2 to 7 minutes.

At 4:30 I reached 5cm and was allowed an epidural (they would not do one before by fear of slowing down my labor). The epidural was great and I fell asleep right there. I woke up at 9 am. They did a quick check and at my amazement I was 10 cm and fully effaced. They called my OB who was at his office across the street. He was really surprise to see me there. So early! With him, he had a resident OB from Newfoundland (well she studied in Newfoundland but was really a French-canadian from Montréal). She was great! I have no doubt she will be a very skill OB! My Ob assisted, and she delivered. I had to wait about 1:30 before starting to push, they wanted me to fell the urge to push and we also wanted the epidural to wear off so I could feel what I was doing. When the time came I pushed for about 30 min and baby came out healthy and screaming! The pushing was a little awkward because I still had no definite pattern in my contraction. I would get to push... and then I would have to wait anywhere from 3-7 minutes. 

Tristan was off a tremendous help during the pushing! He was right there with the Obs! He was the very first person to notice the gender of the baby and let out a very loud "it's a boy!!!". He even took the two Ob by surprise. Not only for me, but for him too this experience, so different then the one we lived 2 years before was an amazing experience.

As I sit here, one week later, I can only marvel at how truly was amazing the whole process was! I never felt so at peace with myself! It is that "feeling of peace" I have waited for since my c-section. For me, my vbac was a true healing experience. The support I received from the whole staff, from my OB, from my hospital but also from my family members made it all possible. As scared as I was, I was determined to NOT go through what I went through last time.

Just to be able to hold my baby right away! Just to be able to be there, physically and mentally. Awake, alert, feeling every step of the way. Knowing my body COULD do the right thing just brushed away 3 years of self doubt, disappointment and anxiety!

If you would like more info on Vbac here is a great place to start: ICAN
If you would like more information on my experience, feel free to contact me.

 

My little Tuna is all grown up... 21 months and counting

My little Tuna is all grown up... ok not really... but I can't believe how quickly she went from being a baby to being a toddler. She use to cry when she was hungry... now she goes to the fridge and looks for what she wants or she ask for Mommy's milk (yep we are still going strong after 21 months of breastfeeding). She use to wake up in the middle of the night crying... now she wakes up in the middle of the night... crying... ok not much has changed here. lol She can pick her clothing. She can go to the fridge and bring mommy a Perrier if I ask her. 

But I think her greatest achievement so far this summer is how quickly she is improving as a swimmer! I am even starting to think she might swim a full pool length BEFORE she sleeps through the night.

On her spare time, Hudson likes collecting rocks, throwing rocks in the water and stashing rocks in her sun hat. She loves going on the trampoline and playing in her sandbox. She loves long walk and afternoon at the park. You know... the good life ;-)

We have yet to enter the terrible two phase (although we had a preview of what is to come last week during our trip to Ottawa)... For now, I will cross my finger that what we went through at the Canadian Mint Museum will NEVER EVER happen again...

Have you thanked a farmer today?

I did not post about week 3-4-5 of our weekly Harvest Share Food Box! I totally could! The boxes were awesome! They were FULL to the max of fresh and very varied produce. We tried new recipes and discovered new vegetables. 

I really wanted to put up a picture every week, but I was not there when the box arrived. I forgot to ask my mom to take a picture...

But it doesn't matter, I am sure by now, you get the idea ;-)

There is however something I would like to share! Something VERY special that happened in my household! Something that just 2 months ago, would have been thought IMPOSSIBLE! (I hope my husband will forgive me for telling this story...)

My husband is Chinese. My husband LOVES chicken and rice... My husband is POWERED by rice... breakfast, lunch, dinner. My husband also happens to not really like vegetable. Except for a few select greens (asparagus and zucchinis). We've been together for 9 years and it has always been a recurring subject of argumentation! We now have a lovely daughter who needs good role model into building good eating habits. So my husband stepped up to the plate and 1 months ago decided that from now on, he would eat ANY vegetables I put on his plate! (As long as they are cooked). Well it has been a month and he is still sticking to his words!!! Not once has he complained! 

Buying into the weekly box was also part of the plan in making sure we were eating MORE vegetable, while supporting our local economy. I have to admit, everything we get in the box taste BETTER than the same product at the grocery... is it because of the freshness??? 

And this week, a miracle happened. Hudson was having a bad day and I ran short of idea for lunch. I ended up serving some chicken with broccoli, peas, beans, and snow peas (all from the box). My husband asked where the rice was.... OUPS!!! So he sad down with a grumpy face and he started eating. Half way through the meal, he said to me "Look at my plate!!!!!! I ate all the vegetables and I still have some chicken left." I think he surprised himself! He loved the beans, he loved the broccoli, he loved the peas and the snow peas... and did not even miss his rice!!! This was such a GREAT day for us!